I learn to forgive and forget. Even at the worst point in life I believe in a small doubt. Then I saw the picture. And there goes.

Omg :( they keep quarreling and quarreling and QUARRELING FUVK IT everyone get the fuck out of the house.

Suddenly Christmas doesn't sound like anything happy. Sek is going on a relationship with Jiaen soon. I am having my.... And so on. Yesterday was great today is horrible.

Back from Bali and everything became the same again. :( I was really close to Terence we walked together, drink water from the same bottle, watched movies together then we came back and POOF! Everything's back, well not everything sek isnt. Anyways a lot of strangers has been talking to me on Facebook. It's kinda awkward maybe because it been a long time since I ever make from with people on net cause I used to just talk to sek a lot. Then... There's this guy this name is Andrew and he's... Like 20 which is really old and his abit like mushy. Like I dunno he know we can't be together (OFCOURSE) but the way he talks is like so... Nice... So sweet LIKE OVER SWEET, and it gets so >< sek and me used to talk all the vulgars to each other but we still noe that both of us is kidding. Bt the Andrew guy just I unno it's not this fault. It's just not the same anymore.

Then theres this guy call Guanwei he's nice too I can say vulgar in front of him but he keeps talking about meeting up and etcetc. And well I don't like it too,

Lastly another guy called Sean and he's like so rude so I don't like his name his attitude and his face. Okay :) the end,

And i thought of you.
You the only boy that need the only one that i dream about endlessly ;(

So.. I private my blog. I dunno I just don't feel like it that.. I just don't want people to think I am a emo freak. It may sound like I am a emo fucked up freak but I am not... I know I am not. I just write post when i am angry or sad. Seldom when I am happy. That's why, anyways... Today I feel that I am super not ready. I am super super scare :( of o levels. Well I know that's in like... 2 years and I know I am going to work hard for it. Well I really hope two uears pass fast! Cause Sek will be out form NS and I can talk to him again. Butthen in two years time olevels is also coming. I am Just not ready. You know.., these days feel so horrible when someone who talks to you everyday just stops... Talking to you. It's super miserable. And I mean it, remember those times when I talk to sek and I am super busy and I feel so like "CAN WE STOP TALKING" but nao... This pause from all his Whatsapp goodnights, sweet dreams, crazy pictures... Well it's like a big fuck. I am trying to find someone to talk to. And I know there's so many ppl around me ppl like Qianqi Kiran Yiting I noe they care and I really wish to tell them bout I just can't bring myself to tell them :( well step by step then,

So it's been 3 days without interacting with sek. Been many many many days since I fucking drink soft drinks. At night before I sleep I would think what you would be doing. Sleeping of course butttt... Anyways. Today Dardar came to talk to me :) super happy ^^ yesterday I had a nightmare and I woke up crying I dunno why I am writing all the nonsense. I dunno what I am thinking nao. I need to talk to someone. I need a can of pepsi. That's all I need.

Life is such a big
Fuck nao.
Maybe because you are no longer gonna be around that make me feel so down but lately lotsa shit been happening. Diana and Vivien and mum is like fighting and quarreling whenever and wherever they can like fuck what the fuck is God doing to my fucked up family. Been real long since I saw Terence . Blah fuck u fuck all

Yesterday today forever :( tomorrow. Tomorrow onwards he will go ND life would be the same but I won't be able to tell someone all my problems alr. We will talk, but not so much anymore. For the next two years, life might not be the same anymore. :( and so one. Hahaah whatever byeeeeeee tomorrow is Thursday and I will miss you.

You noe the person whom I always wanted to be was my mum, well there is this other person I ever dream of becoming that's my sister Vivien, she's intelligent, sociable so on she is that one model I have in my mind always never ever feel unhappy taking to her, never feeling embarrass or what ever when I am with her, always full of confidence. Then lately she's been such a fucked up fucker. She screams scolds vulgar hates mum hates the world hates everyone in the family even me :( calling names shouting and all the other stuff that makes me think how badly she has change, no longer that sister I ever wanted to be ever so proud of :( well whatever just kinda really sad right nao. If she ever reads this I bet she just say its retarded or something. Then nao theres sek who's going to NS in four days. I can't go out with him anymore. For a couple of years I guess. I wonder if he still likes Jiaen cause he's always giving me real bad stuff about her and so on.

Hehe :b life been alright :) things are going well. Sek is going to NS soon kinda can't bear to.. Not talk to him for a long time. Truthfully a day without talking to him feels very ( idk how to describe) I miss all my friends so much being at home isn't a great Idea :(. Oo I did smt that made me super happy I bought Dardar a present!!! Hehe :) Yay And I hope he likes it :) may respect have a outing soon and yeap I really miss everyone in class the girls the guys everyone Kay night ^^