Saturday, March 16, 2013
Change
Everyday things are changing. Some change are good but others might be horrible.
Change in physical, spiritual, emotions, etc.
I am scare of change. I am scare to lose someone around me.
I am scare to see an Aunty or an Uncle who turned all skinny and dark after getting cancer. I am scare to see how my family turns from bad to worst.
To all who may be reading this it might be so really fucked up bored to see me posting a long paragraph about my family again. Cause I am too myself.
Everyday they. Are quarreling. Everyday different people are quarrel. Everyday the car is full of quarrels that even the music is shit to my ears. Everyday quarrels. Perhaps one may feel sick over these long periods of everyday quarrels I am sick to but I get more and more discourage more and more sad each day looking at all these. I love it outside with all my friends, that doesn't mean I hate my family, I love them but perhaps I would like it better off if they could just see each other once everyweek or something. That would make everyone cherish time with each other more and thus enhance a better relationship.
I want my mum to feel extra special. Extra happy and glad that I am her daughter. So I always try to make her happy doing things she ask me to do, listening to her even if it is a nag. I get her little stuff sometimes be it food or a pen or a bear or a card, something to show that I am still here to love her. I want to wake up each day to have something to look forward to. I love her
I want my brother to feel extra happy to have a sister like me. When I am angry I don't want to quarrel with him, I cut off the line, cause quarrels make relationships worst and I hate that. I send him thank you and sorry text with a smiley and sometimes a heart. I want him to be happy I want to inculcate happiness am politeness in the family
I want my sisters to be happy I don't usually see them often due to work and travel but when I do I try my best to think of the best topic to make them talk to me and make myself talk and laugh to them even if I feel like a idiot. I want them to feel special.
To my dad I try to say I love you to him when I can cause I don't want to lose him even if he didnt really work for the family and all. I don't want to lose him one day and regret not saying i love you papa
And Ofcourse I want to make my friends feel special, I send them morning text because it is said to make everyone day a little brighter when they wake up to see a morning text. Or at least it would my mine. Even though we go out very little and we have those silent fights quite often I still hope Qianqi know I miss her alot and sometimes I do things to make her feel angry just to see if she still cares. I am sorry.
I want kiran and Nicole and yiting to know how I really really feel glad to have them. How everytime I don't feel like going home too early that they will be there to make me feel wanted. :) I like how trips are always so crazy and great.
To Yeelin how she come by and talks to me at night remind me about work and sometimes have great talks.
To all the other friends how I feel great to actually know them, like Yuxian Fiona Glenna and Huimei :(
Ok this feels better. Byeee
♥ 6:59 AM
Friday, March 8, 2013
Wonderingringringring
So today I was wondering. Sometimes talking to your family about the things that happened on that day is a fun thing to do, but when you're the only one doing the talking and having no idea if anyone in the car gives a damn, that's shitty. Same goes to school, I love doing reflections and I think that's the only time I get to express what I think about things, but if the school is going to give us all the reflection worksheets but don't ever read or give a shit about it, then why bother writing. It made my feel a little less enthusiastic about sharing my thoughts with people nowadays.
Went to the SWAMI home today and yeah it was great there. Not great great Ofcourse. But yeah same old same old you get to reflect alot about things. I feel how time could really bring down people. Some elderly are really happy oldies and tell you all the things they do there and boast about how cool they are. I like this auntie particularly, we can't really communicate but she was able to show we hand signs and we just laugh with each other for awhile, colouring stuff and all. And there was this Indian Auntie, she kept saying she's hungry. For the whole 2 hours there, for 3/4 of the time all I heard her groan and shout about is " HUNGRY" in Malay. Untill the last 30 mins when her dinner was served, I finally heard her say, sleep and bye. It's not alot, but I sure hope that deep down she is very happy today.
Today I bought her present for Elly, kinda feel bad because previously kinda lie and say I bought it already. But yeah I love it when I get present for people, and it would totally make me feel happier if they liked my present.
Today I wonder why friends turn out to be how they don't use to be. How two unclose people who do not know each other could hate one another. How a friend could out something just to get higher up the ladder. If you know what I mean
♥ 5:00 AM
